I meant to write this post feeling all nostalgic and warm but I just can't seem to get into the mood. Just like the typical movie scene, the breeze brushes lightly against you and then you look out of the window. You see the leaves from the nearby tree swaying and then flashback your life to the beginning of 2007.
The morning breeze is present, the trees are around, the leaves are swaying (Although I can't see them from my windows cos my flat is too high up, common sense tells me that the leaves are swaying. ) but the noise is still irritating! If only there is a mute button I can press. The renovations have been going on since the beginning of the month. I seriously wonder what kind of kingdom are they creating. When the renovations are done, I think my neighbour should just have an open house and invite all the neighbours to view their masterpiece. They are 3 floors above me and I can still hear them so clearly.
On top of irritating me, the noise is also affecting my little princess. Her naps are constantly interrupted by the noise and she's often startled by the sudden thuds. !#)($@*%&!
Alright, think I'll be nice on the last day of 2007. I can't stop them if they want to renovate their flat. Maybe I'm just jealous that they're the ones doing the renovations and not me. I'm just a poor teacher. (Don't tell me that you read in the newspapers that we're getting a pay raise so I can't say that I'm poor! We deserve it!!!! You don't know how hard we work. Teaching is a 24/7 job. You've to be in it to understand. If you think we're paid well, join us! The teaching profession needs YOU! =p)
So anyway, enough of the renovations. I've digressed from what I started this post for. I wanted to think back on my year and blog all about it. So here we go........ despite the noise!
On a more serious note, 2007 has been a really eventful year for me. It is indeed a life-changing year for me. Maybe I should start with the end of 2006.
At the end of 2006, after being married for 3 years, I decided that it's time for us to have a baby. So project B started and month after month, the pregnancy test kit just returned a negative sign. How disappointing! So from the more popular brand of pregnancy test kit, we started to be cheapos and buy cheaper test kits. These things are not cheap ok! On top of that, we even tried with the ovulation prediction kit. And all these are just the start of the cost of having a baby.
I wanted very badly to conceive so that baby will be born in September. Timing is everything. It's essential to my quest in prolonging my maternity leave. So after a few negatives, we decided to just go with the flow and let fate decide the length of my maternity leave.
My menstrual cycle has always been regularly irregular. So having it late by a few days or even weeks is no big deal. So on the 4th of April, the absence of my period is nothing for me to raise an eyebrow about. But hubby decided that maybe I should just check to make sure. So since cheapos like us are using cheap pregnancy test kit, I thought why not. Went into the bathroom, peed on the test kit and what I saw just set my heart thumping! It's positive! However, I was still rational enough to dry the kit and bring it out of the bathroom to show my hubby. Imagine a dripping wet pregnancy test kit! That's just disgusting right? Haha!
Now, that's the problem with using cheap test kits. You don't know how reliable they are. We then decided to seek a second opinion and went to the 24 hour clinic nearby. Did another test and indeed it's positive. You know how tv serials always have the doctor congratulating you and giving you the megawatt smile? It's all dramatized!!! The doctor that saw us just gave me a nonchalant look and said, it's positive and then looked at me with that 'ok-you-can-get-out-of-the-room' look. Idiot! I was too excited to notice it then. Haha! I was 6 weeks pregnant then. We counted back and realised that this could have been a birthday baby for hubby. Hee! *so shy*
So the pregnancy went on pretty smoothly. By and by I grew and ballooned into a mama penguin. Thank goodness that there wasn't much of a complications except for my swollen limbs and ugly stretchmarks.
Fat feet
I've decided not to post my ugly stretchmarks. That's cos I feel embarrassed by them and also, this blog is PG and I won't want to put off my young loyal fans.
And so the buying spree began! First comes the baby clothes, then the cot, then the pram, the toys and all the what-nots which I realise are just a waste of money!
So the day of reckoning came when my gynae told me my EDD. Baby Raine is supposed to be delivered on the 25th of November. Flipped through my calender and realised that it's week 10 of term 4!!!! Oh man! What happened to my quest?! It had fallen flat on my face and now instead of prolonging my maternity leave, I have to take leave during the school holidays! So I quickly consoled myself that baby Raine is just being very responsible. She doesn't want mummy to leave any work undone. I just have to finish what I've begun. Sigh! In chinese it's just called 人算不如天算.
The year zipped past with me waddling around the school. The term ended and I was looking forward to my birthday. It's the last day of teaching and I'm kinda looking forward to go to school knowing that I've finished my school year. Shake legs ah!
In the morning, hubby decided that I should have a good breakfast and so ordered big breakfast for me. Took pictures of it with my birthday present from hubby. Feeling very happy, I skipped to school. Haha! No, I didn't actually skip! How to skip with that big ball of human in front of you? Hee! Told M to take pictures of my tummy for me and so was fooling around in the staff pantry. That's when I took my fat feet, fat fingers and ugly stretchmarked tummy. L was even complaining that I was biased cos I didn't let her take pictures of them when she offered. I can't really remember what I told her. Haha!
Went for lessons and my pupils were jokingly asking me to go give birth today so that baby can share the same birthday with me. Thinking that the EDD is still bout 3 weeks away, I told them that it's not up to me to decide. My colleagues were really sweet that day and bought me a birthday cake. I ate the birthday cake after lessons ended and waited for M before we headed to TMC to visit SL who had just given birth on the 1st of Nov.
Nothing unusual about the visit. Jokes went round about me being the next one that M and her hubby will be visiting. I even told baby that she'll be here very soon. So we left and I was offered a lift home. Thick skin me refused initially (typical asian. must say don't want first) but decided to take up the offer cos I hated taking public transport at that time. You know how Singaporeans fall asleep INSTANTLY upon seeing pregnant women? It works better than your sleeping pills!
While waiting for the valet to bring us the car, I felt quite uneasy. I felt discharge but decided that maybe it's just normal discharge, except that it's a little bit more. Didn't think too much about it and continued with the journey home. Upon reaching the void deck, that's when the drama began. Water started trickling down my pants. My first thoughts were, 'am I peeing in my pants?' What's even more embarrassing was that there was another couple sharing the same lift as me. Imagine yourself in the lift with an unknown type of water dripping down your pants, standing in front of a couple who might be staring at the floor. Aiyo! Utter embarrassment!
I got out of the lift without looking back. I entered the house and rushed to the bathroom. Checked the unknown type of water and realised that it's clear and transparent. Next thought, 'Is that the amniotic fluid? Don't know! I was never pregnant before!' Told myself to keep my cool and decided to take a shower first. Told my aunt-in-law that I'm going to give birth and asked her to get ready. Instructed her to fetch my hospital bag while I showered and get change. I even had time to call my mum, called up M to check that I didn't wet her car seat, called my hubby and then call for a cab. It's back to TMC again!
In the cab, aunt in law and I were talking bout whether it's a real labour and so on. This probably got the cab driver worried and he got pretty upset when we were caught in a bit of a jam. So I had to assure him that my contractions have not started so he can take it slow. That calmed him down a little. Haha! I should have just faked labour to make him kan cheong! Haha!
I was admitted at 4pm. That's when the whole labour started. If there's anything about labour that I hate, it's the fact that you really have not much of modesty left. You'll be just wearing a hospital gown with nothing else. Nurses and doctors come in and check you every few minutes and you just lie down on the bed to allow them to do whatever they want with you! At this point in time, if you feel uncomfortable about reading about the labour process, please stop. I'm not too good with words so I'm just going to be very graphic and straight forward about it. Haha!
So anyway, when I reached there, I changed into my hospital gown and then the nurses checked me. Told me that I'm already 3 cm dilated and that it is a real labour. I was adminstered a kind of medicine through the anus and had to go clear my bowels. Remembered what SL told me about seating at the toilet bowl to make sure I clear my bowels totally cos you may have to go twice. So I stayed around the bathroom and made sure that I showered and cleaned myself. Haha! Went back to my bed and waited for my hubby to arrive. I was then strapped up with a gadget to monitor my baby's heartbeat and put on a drip to induce contractions. My hubby came and I can't really tell from his expression how he's feeling.
Soon, the contractions started. It started pretty bearable with it being like menstrual cramps. Then it got worse with you feeling as if all your organs are being pulled together. It got to a point where I was pulling on to the edge of my pillow! So I told myself not to try to act smart and ask for the miracle drug, epidural. I signed a consent form. Can't really remember what it states. At that point in time, you will just agree with ANYTHING.
I was then pushed to the delivery ward and over there I was injected with epidural through my spine. I was breathing really heavily cos I was imagining the huge syringe with the needle. It was a scary thought! Yeeewww! As soon as the drug was administered, few minutes later, the contraction pain stopped. Then it's the long wait. The side effects of the drug then started and my teeth started chattering. My legs went numb and I had to ask hubby to help me massage them and shift them as they kept slipping off the bed. It was a horrible feeling! The wait seemed like eternity.
Nurses will then come in every half an hour to check on the diameter of your dilation. They use their fingers so you can imagine how they do the checking. So tell me about modesty. Around evening, I started to feel some kind of pain. Told the nurses about it and asked them whether it's normal. Their answers are pretty ambiguous and I started to wonder if the epidural is working after all. Finally one nurse came in and increased the dosage. It didn't help but made my teeth chatter even more. The pain got worse and I told the nurse to increase the dosage but she refused. I guess she didn't want my teeth to break from all that chattering. Haha! So no choice, I gotta bear with the pain.
At that time, I just wanted baby to come out quickly. Hours passed and the dilation was still 6 cm at around 11pm. There goes my wish of sharing birthday with baby. The pain increased and at past midnight, the nurse came in to do another check and said, 'ok, you're ready to push'. Suddenly, there was a flurry of activities in the delivery suite. The huge surgical lights came on and nurses walked in and out pushing an array of equipments. Mostly scary looking. My legs were then lifted onto the stirups and with legs wide open, the midwives came in and stared down south of me. She gave me instructions on how to push the baby out.
She said, 'Like pang sai like that. You push when you feel a contraction. Don't blow out any air. Remember, like pang sai'.
I nodded obediently and she told me to demonstrate once to her. I did and she shook her head. 'No, no! Like pang sai. You don't blow air out!' So I had to do it again once more for her. Once she feels that I've learnt the art of passing motion, she got into position and waited for me to nod. Once I nodded and said ok, she'll come and push my thighs apart and guided me along in the pushing.
After much pushing and grunting. At 1 + am, Raine was born! By that time, I was exhausted! I didn't even shed a single tear. Not cos I wasn't emotional but I was really too tired. My first question to the nurse wasn't about my baby. I asked her, 'Do you have water? I'm thirsty!'
What kind of mother am I? Haha!
After cleaning up the baby, I held baby Raine in my arms and that's when I felt like a real mummy. I looked at her and started thinking that she's so small. She's 3 weeks early and isn't as chubby as other newborns. She looked so vulnerable.
I was then wheeled into my ward when baby is then whisked off to the nursery. After feeling so overwhelmed with motherly love, hunger pangs hit me. Poor me, I asked the nurse for some food and she rejected my request. So no choice, I had to bear with the hunger and went to bed.
Stay at the hospital was great. Food was delicious and it felt very much like a chalet with room service. Haha!
Day 1 and 2 passed with visitors coming and going. Day 3 came and I was so looking forward to bringing baby home with me. Except that the bad news came! Baby has jaundice and can't go home yet. She has to stay till her jaundice level is down. Second bad news came that she failed her right ear hearing test! I cried. This can't be happening to her. She's still so young. So the nurse reassured me saying that it's normal for baby to develop jaundice. As for her hearing test, they'll repeat it. About an hour later, the nurse came back with her hearing test result. She passed. Can't really describe the relief I felt at that time.
So fast forward to 7th of November. Baby Raine came home and the endless cries and poo poos started.
Today, Raine is in her 9th week. She still throws tantrums once in a while but I feel more confident in taking care of her. Watching her grow has taken away all the pain that I went through during the labour process. No wonder my mummy always tells me that you won't think much of it after giving birth. I guess that's motherly love.
Well, apart from the birth of Raine. Nothing very much about me has changed. Oh, not to mention the physical changes that came along with it. This post is very long and right now, I'm too lazy to carry on reminiscing about the year. Afterall, the memories will stay and I'll post it next year.
Meanwhile, thanks for reading to the end. Have a wonderful 2008 ahead!
HAPPY NEW YEAR MY LOYAL FANS! Haha!
